Locked In His Room
by Revever
Summary: Bae threw a real tantrum today. Complete with tears and screaming and kicking. Then he said that he's going to his room because nobody listens to him. Gold spent the next hour on the floor next to Bae's door, but the boy has been unrelenting. Every time Gold asked, he flat out refused to let his papa in. Part eight in Something There series.


Bae threw a real tantrum today. Complete with tears and screaming and kicking. Then he said that he's going to his room because nobody listens to him. Gold spent the next hour on the floor next to Bae's door, but the boy has been unrelenting. Every time Gold asked, he flat out refused to let his papa in.

When the doorbell rang, it took Gold a few long minutes to get up and limp down the stairs. When he opened the door, Belle smiled at him lovingly, then she frowned when he failed to smile back.

'Did something happened?'

'Bae...' Gold sighed.

'Is he alright?'

'I don't know. We had... an argument. Then he went to his room and still refuses me to go in...'

'Hey, calm down. Tell me what did you fight about.' Belle steered him to the kitchen and started to make tea. 'He locked himself in his room?'

'Well, no, not literally, but he closed the door and said I can't come in. We talked about Millie... He needed a picture of his mother for some project in school. Then... I don't know. It sort of spiraled and then he was shouting that nobody listens to him.'

'Well, but what he said that he thought you didn't listen to?'

Gold looked sideways.

'He said that his mother was dumb. And that he think we're better off without her.'

'Sounds like a reasonable opinion laced with anger at her and concern for you.'

Gold looked at her with his brows raised high, surprised. Concern for him?

'What did you say to him?'

'That he shouldn't say such things about his mother.' Gold lowered his head, hiding behind his hair. 'But then I apologized, I said I know that he miss her, that I'm sorry I couldn't...' his voice cracked a little. 'That I couldn't set things right.'

'And then he left?'

Gold nodded and missed Belle's face saying 'that kid is so much smarter than you.'

'I wish so much... That Bae could have the best mom in the world.' He almost said he wished Belle to be Bae's mom, but that would be too demanding. He failed, failed so badly, he couldn't expect Belle to clean up his mess. He sighed, taking deep breath. He was so lucky and so happy having Bae. He really shouldn't pity himself like that. But there was something about Belle that made him talk.

'I'm not sure I can be good enough father for him. I certainly can't fill the place of his mother. I failed with my marriage and Bae is paying the price.'

'That's not a good way to think about that.' Belle said pensively. 'You can hurt him more by taking the whole blame. He certainly doesn't see it like that and when he tries to tell you that, to help you because he wants his father to be happy, then... If you refuse this help, clutching to self-blame, you'll hurt him.'

'But... it was my fault, Belle.'

She sat beside him, taking his hand.

'Even if it was, it's unproductive to mull over it now and not letting go. If you think that you're doing this for Bae, think again. I doubt it's helping him in any way. Blaming isn't caring. You're teaching him to self-blame. He can find his own reasons to feel guilty too.'

'Bae? But we have talked when Millie left. Many times, long talks. He knows that he has nothing to blame on himself.'

Belle shook her head.

'I think he can feel guilty for not being able to help you. He can see you're hurting.'

'I'm not!' Gold protested, then blushed. 'Not any more than other people.'

Belle smiled.

'Other people aren't Bae's papa. Or my boyfriend.' He felt his heart flutter at the word, it was still so new and impossible. 'They have their own important ones to care for them. We care for you.'

'Oh.'

Gold looked down, ashamed. It was so much to take in. 'You brat!' he heard his father's snarl. 'You could finally make yourself useful! Can't you do anything right? I'm doing everything for you, how about some gratitude?'

But the stream of his father's words was cut off abruptly, when Belle put her arms around him and pulled him closer so he could rest his head on her chest.

'I know it's hard for you. There's no shame in that.'

'But I'm being selfish...'

'It's because you're hurt, sweetheart. You didn't do anything too terrible that couldn't be fixed. I think it's completely within your reach to let go of that unnecessary guilt and both you and Bae will be better off for that. Me too. I want you to be as happy as possible.'

She kissed the top if his head.

'I'll try...'

But deep in his mind he heard his father. 'Oh, you would want that, brat, right? No way you get to be all lucky when I don't! You wouldn't be such an ingrate to turn back on your old man, right?'

'Thank you, Belle, for all you're doing for us. But... it's... weird.'

'Weird?'

Oh no, now she'll be offended that he called her weird! Gold stiffened and blushed.

'I mean... It's wonderful and amazing!' He said quickly. 'It's just... almost no one else talked to me like that. Only my aunts sometimes.'

Belle hugged him closer.

'Well, now I will. Do you want to talk to Bae now? I think he might be worried that he hurt you too much by his tantrum.'

Gold took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly. Worried. Not angry, but worried.

'Yes, I'll go talk to him...' He hesitated. Belle helped him, he would be totally clueless without her and yet he didn't want to take her to Bae now.

'I'll wait here,' she smiled, sensing his dilemma. Gold smiled back, gratefully, and quickly went to his son.

'Bae?' he said quietly, knocking on the door. 'Can we talk? I think I understand a bit better what you wanted to tell me.'

There was silence, during which Gold felt his heart trying to beat out of his chest, but then the door suddenly opened, revealing Bae with red, puffy eyes and a very grumpy expression.

'I'm sorry, son,' Gold said quietly.

Bae threw himself at him and hugged so hard, that Gold would have fallen backward if he didn't manage to catch himself on the door frame.

'M'sorry too.'

'It.. it's okay to be angry at mom, Bae. I'm angry at her too.'

'T'was not your fault, papa,' Bae murmured into Gold's stomach. 'Hers.'

Gold gently stroked his son's head and arms.

'Yes, Bae. There were things that I might have done differently, but yes. She wanted to leave. She didn't want to live with us. And it's neither my fault nor yours. I think a large part of it wasn't her fault either. Sometimes it just doesn't work right, no matter what anyone does.'

Bae nodded.

'I won't leave you like she did, papa, I swear.'

There would be a moment when Bae would have family on his own, Gold thought sadly. Then again, his son was a smart kid and surely knew that. He must have meant that he won't stop loving his father.

'I will love you forever too, Bae,' he whispered back and felt his son smile.


End file.
